Black Out [[not Spears]]

I could sum up the whole month of April 2008 in one simple sentence: This summer is very different from last year’s.

Last year, it was great. I can’t remember a moment when I felt… lonely. I was in no hurry to head back home. But nowadays, I don’t know. I want to stay here but I want to see my FWENDZ back home too. Well, it’s not like saying last year I didn’t miss them, I did. But in my second year of high school, we got closer- and I badly miss them so much now. Another thing is, a few of my friends are leaving the school. Some are transferring and others are going to migrate. Well, I can still keep up with them, possibilities of technology and all. But it’s different.

Well, maybe another factor of my homesickness is that I have changed. I didn’t notice until they pointed it out. It wasn’t subtle, they said. For better or for worse? I don’t know.

Enjoy the rest of the remaining summer days. I just realized time goes by so fast, yet changes occur subtly in the same length as well.

I had- have, a goal for this summer, planned on the last day of school: I want to change again. So far, I don’t think I’m doing a good job. I think.

One thing’s for sure: I miss them so much.

And here I think Drama’s overrated.

Well, not now.

Now Playing: Runaway – Avril Lavigne

And maybe that’s the problem. I tried to control my summer, my efforts went down the drain.

I just wanna scream and loose control. Throw my hands up and let it go. Forget about everything and runaway.